I’m not here for one moment to say I know at all what it’s like to be a single mom. I have absolutely NO idea. I would never compare myself to one, either. I have a Husband who changes diapers, cooks dinner, does bath time, takes the baby on Saturday mornings so that I can have a break, and so much more. He adores his little girl, and me. It shows in everything he does. One month ago we moved to Shaun’s family cattle ranch that sits outside of a quiet little oyster-producing town called South Bend, WA.
I fell in love with this place the first time Shaun took me here six years ago. I didn’t know it then, but I knew that if things panned out with this guy I was just smitten over, then this was somewhere I would want to end up. Here we are.
When we ultimately made the decision to move back to his home town and start this adventure, we decided that it would be best to move Riley and I down here sooner to start getting settled. I wanted some time to adjust to our new way of life, find Riley a pediatrician, look into a OBGYN for me (when that time, if that time, comes again.) I will be helping with the books for the ranch and other various projects so it made sense for me to come down and start getting in the swing of things while Shaun wrapped up work back home.
It was a good idea, in theory.
Living this has been another story.
I love Shaun’s family and I am so grateful to be here with them, but I miss my Husband terribly. Like it genuinely hurts. Shaun and I have never really spent time apart. We have been fortunate enough to never have to do long distance. I think the longest time we have ever spent apart has been ten days. We are over two weeks now.
Like I said in the beginning, I would N E V E R try to say that I could ever know what it’s like to be a single mother. All I can say is that doing this by myself for two weeks has been a very eye opening experience. It’s not that I don’t appreciate my Husband, or tell him that I love him and am grateful for him. But honestly, being away from him has made me realize that I don’t tell him those things enough, at least not genuinely. He’s my handy man, my third, fourth arm when I just can’t reach that thing over there. He’s my person, my confidant, and my outlet when things just aren’t going my way. I know that there is technology, but it’s not the same as face-to-face contact. I miss his face. I miss his smile. I miss his touch. I miss our conversations.
I miss us.
I literally do not know how women do it alone. It is so hard to imagine. When it comes down to it and every single day you are doing the damn thing, solo…that has to be so hard. I depend on Shaun’s emotional and physical support every single day. I depend on his presence in our life, and I do not know how I would handle if he were not here. I am inspired and awed by women who are raising children without a partner. You are amazing.
It’s only taken me two weeks to snap out of something I’ve been in for awhile. I don’t really know how to explain it, but some sort of “funk” we have been in. I think I read somewhere once that major stresses in any relationship are sex, money, and moving! I cannot even begin to count the times we have moved. It is well over ten. I’m tired of it. I loathe it. We spent days snapping at each other and generally just being frustrated. It’s not that I was ever really mad at him at all, but that’s what happens in relationships. We let negative things affect the ones we love and I hate that. We are all guilty. Needless to say, being away from him has made me completely snap out of any sort of mood I’ve been in with him lately. I feel bad. I’ve been hard to be around. He’s been hard to be around. Yet at the end of the day these past two weeks, I’ve laid down in an empty bed and I yearn to reach out and feel his presence.
This temporary time in our lives will be over soon and we will probably have those days that we are on each other’s nerves, but I hope this post serves as a reminder to myself, and to others, to just stop being so hard on the ones we love. Pick your battles. If you have someone in your life that loves you and shows you that love every day, celebrate it. Don’t get down on each other. Love each other. It’s easier said than done some days, but it is so important to lift each other up instead of down.
These last few weeks have been trying and stressful on us both. I feel like I finally have a clear head to reflect on it all and realize that I am so lucky. I have a Husband who supports me in everything I do. He has been there for me through all my successes and failures. He is my biggest fan and I’m grateful to get to love, and be loved by him every single day.
Riley and I are on our way back to Eastern Washington on Saturday to finally reunite with her Daddy, for a week! It’s going to be a long day in the car because we are stopping at Ocean Shores for a couple hours to celebrate the first birthday of my dear friends little boy! I cannot wait to see my best friends, and their babies. So fun that they are coming to my “new” neck of the woods! It works out perfectly for me to keep on trekking over the mountains to beautiful Wenatchee.
Off topic, but I just want to say a quick T H A N K Y O U to everyone who has shown me so much love and support during my first week in business with Emma Rose Designs! The incredible feedback I have received around the new website and everything has been overwhelming. My newsletter subscribers are getting something pretty special in their inboxes on Friday in honor of such a fun and successful website launch week! Don’t miss out!
Thank you for being here. Let’s make something beautiful.
Until next week!